Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Malignant Blunder

a bleak, sorrowful picture
lady liberty grossly defiled
the clueless, brainless masses
are hardly even riled!

at the podium there raved Trump
a challenge, for all to see
hack the files, cause disruption
Russia, destroy the DNC!

Holy shit! Was this a coup
our Constitution, ripped asunder
will this nightmare ever end
such, a sad malignant blunder

party, before the people
I've heard that slogan before
our small handed misanthrope
so complicit, such a whore

a bleak, sorrowful picture
lady liberty beyond repair
sacrificed like a virgin
to a ravenous hungry bear!

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Tweeter In Chief

with civility and grace
I, accept the election
my mind so confused
by endless misdirection

the art of the deal
a new sun is shining
our republican masters
new horrors refining

a deplorable cabinet
a basket full of fools
a swampy miasma
of Republican tools

get over it they say
give dump a chance
I have, we have
now it's on to the dance

with civility and grace
I, accept the election
my mind in overdrive
for bullshit detection

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

What is in a name

does a name reflect the owner
will you become the name
with donald  trump
it might as well be the same

Orange Foolious
Orange shitgibbon
Tangerine Mussolini
Hair Furor
Grabbalotapus Rex
Dick a la Orange
Cantaloupe Caligula
D.T. Barnum
Der Failure
Prima Donald
Orange Baboon
Orange Ferrethead
Don L Ad Hoc Trump
great orange shitbag
Orange NIMBY
Orange Wonder Bread
Douche Bag Donnie
Cheeto Mussolini
Tweetie Turd
Orange Excrescence
Trump Vader
tricky Trump
orange Ponzi
tangerine turd
Pumpkin Spice
The short fingered orange despot
Cheeto Benito
Tangerine Shitgibbon
Fuckface Von Clownstick
Putin’s Bitch
Don the Con
Dickface Destroyer of Democracy
America’s Wealthiest Hemorrhoid (John Oliver)
Il Douche
Id Vicious
Cheeto Jesus
Voldemoron (John Cole)
Orange Julius Caesar (Lewis Black)
Angry Circus Peanut
T.A. (That Asshole in the White House)
The Nazi Cheeto (or Cheeto Nazi)
The Vulgar Talking Yam (Charlie Pierce)
El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago (Charlie Pierce)
He, Trump
Accident-Elect Smallgloves (or Littlefingers)
The Drumpf
Trumpty Dumpty
Tangelo Tyrant
Tangerine Nightmare
Ambulatory pilonoidal cyst
Tangerini Mussolini
The Pussygrabbing Potentate
Semi-Sentient traffic cone
Rabid tumbleweed
Daddy Marmalade
Mango Unchained
bewigged hantavirus
Orange Fascist Clown
Orange Buffoon
Texter Tubbie
Donald Dump
marmalade nightmare
Kim Jong-Orange
Donnie Draft Dodger
Orange Turd Blossom
donald  chump
Orange Racist Pussy Grabber
Cheeto Von Pee on Me
His Fraudulency
Lost Crayola Color President
Orange Abomination
Veracity crapper
Don Sequiter
Orange Golem
Ghengis Con
Orange Smaug
Jabba the Trump
Orange is the new stupid
Liar in Thief
Lying Donnybrook
mango menace
cotton haired joe
Mr short fuse
Forrest trump
Captain Cheeto
Captain Combover
insane cheeto
The Drumpf
tweeter in chief
Lord Cheeto
Tangerine Twittertubby
Great Orange Booby
Big Orange Fuzz
Emperor Commodus
Donny Baby
The Orange Con
Emperor baby fisits
humpty trumpty
so called ruler of the United States
pumpkin headed doom goblin
Donnie Dickless
Diaper Donnie
Ol' Pissy
Little Lord Feltersnatch
Benedict Donald
Tangerine Enema
Hair Twitler
Dingus Khan
Oaf of Office
Dingleberry Donnie
Commander in Creep
Garbage in Chief
Orange Malignancy
Twitter Tard
the trump cteature
Donnie Swamp
Dollar Trump
Bloated Orange talking anus
Putrid Pumpkin
Orange Ego
Tweety McTiny Hands
Orange Oaf

P - Pu$$y grabbing

O - Obnoxious

T - Thin Skinned

U - Unqualified

S - Sociopath

Sunday, November 20, 2016

The Funhose Mirror

If Democracy is a reflection
a mirror image of us all
then Donald Trump, represents
the beginning of the fall

a misogynistic, proto fascist
with undeniable, snake oil charm
an unrepentant known racist
who is soon, to do great harm

there are no conflicts of interest
he is smarter than us all
he now owns the fucking playground
and he is taking home the ball

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Fat Bastard

I was once a fat bastard
but then I found God
with the help of prayer
I have a ripped bod

my stomach's a washboard
my biceps unreal
oh lord sweet Jesus
I have buns of steel!

with muscles a bulging
I flex, my Pecs a lot
midnight prayer sessions
they sure hit the spot

my workouts are a blur
sometimes things get scary
but I really shed pounds
when I do the Virgin Mary

so all you fat Atheists
it's time you got wise
be like the Catholics
go out and Exorcise!

Screaming at the void

No bridge too far
nor chasm deep
we must smite this evil
in it's swampy seep

The bones of others
not long passed
cry for atonement
the shadows they cast

Our mission defined
what pertinent tools
to combat the ignorance
in Republican fools

Here's where I falter
who the fuck, has a plan
we're flailing blindly
I've done all that I can

With all this misfortune
we're a two legged stool
how long can we balance
under Republican rule

When we topple over
all hell breaks loose
you'll hear them coming
they march like a goose!

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Bishop where are you

this cat this Donald trump
retching, vomiting, contorting
the most foulest of hairballs
the cabinet of the orange foolius
imagine the chunks
as they form, and congeal
some may turn into Sarah Palin
the horror, the absolute horror
an Alien facehugger,
on the whole nation
we are in some real pretty shit
game over, man, game over
I can see, Ashe gurgling, smiling
the Alien, is coming for us all
it didn't burst from our chest
we let him in, through the front door
they mostly come at night, mostly
we thought it was a stand up fight
turns out, it was a Bug Hunt!
Clinton was afraid of bugs
she wouldn't get in the sewer
trump eats bugs, hell all reptiles do
now we got an orange shit stain
on the Constitution
paranoia, wait and see
yep, I'm gonna be as civil
as the right, was to Obama
if we have any chance at all
we will have to fight
like Newt and Ripley
keep these Alien facehuggers
from strangling the whole nation
and we don't have Bishop
crawling to our salvation
they mostly come at night, mostly


sung to the tune
from jungle book
"bare necessities"

it's a Kakistocracy
total Kakistocracy
forget about your
silly fucking life
I mean Kakistocracy
could someone just
help us please
get Kakistocracy
from our life

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

extinction level event

This is an extinction level event
the late night talk shows, think it's a game
maybe it is a game,  a game of chicken
who wins a game of chicken
this country just lost  the largest
game of liars poker ever
in two years it's a new game
how about five card stud
but they hold all the cards
there are always random factors
and the occasional joker
I am fifty plus years old
probably outside the range
of feeling the pernicious
effects of global warming
but you twenty year olds
you're going to feel the burn
and that's not Bernie Sanders
the election is a week old
it's primary lesson
was willful ignorance
the same mechanism
behind climate change
you kids, have to save the world
the old fucks don't care about grandchildren
they want lower taxes, no abortions, and guns
neither candidate had one commercial
about the climate at all
look to the sky and ask
are they bullshitting me
well they are
life is a game of bullshit
everything now is a lie
the truth has no validity
Donald Trump told so many lies
Pinocchio's nose fell off
I want you kids to use those damn phones
for something other than
words with friends
ninety eight percent of scientists
agree that sea oh two is gonna
fuck up the world
half the voters think it's a hoax
I say education has failed
I say we have all failed
look we just elected
an unhinged proto-fascist
and if European history
is not your thing
you should consider perusing
German history from the
Treaty of Versailles
to the invasion of Poland
it gets pretty dreary after that
are we gonna slide into tyranny
who can say (Reichstag Fire)
but for me, we're too damn close
you kids have to steer the ship away
there are rocky shoals ahead
and my eyesight is not as good as yours
one of my favorite professors
used to wear a pin that said
I read banned books
was it in jest, or to prove
that he was an eclectic reader
or was he on to something
could he foresee a future where
books would be banned
Damn right he did
and he learned it
from banned books
and who are the types
of people who would ban books
once again I refer you to
European History Germany
early to mid twentieth century
following the debacle of Clinton's loss
a young staffer told Donna Brazille
to fuck off, you are gonna die of old age
while I am gonna die from climate change
now that's a commercial Clinton
should have run
so what you kids gonna do
saddle up, lock and load
and kick some ass
or bury your head in the sand
are we mammals or what

Monday, November 14, 2016

quiet reflections of a turbulent mind

Who are these Christians anyway
why does their snake oil, taste so foul
pray the gay away, pray yourself away
but respect your pedophile priests
cognitive dissonance is your friend
arbiters of love, hope, and charity
Thanks, for the Dark Ages
the everlasting Crusades
and the Spanish Inquisition
bacteria is more important than religion
well some anyway, religion is more a virus
a very virulent form, worldwide dispersion
Ha, these nitwits still send out missionaries
the world is flat, the earlier missionaries fell off
sounds plausible, since we never landed on the moon
thankfully, I was inoculated, Thanks Mom and Dad
some science says, we may be born religious
unfortunately the religious, don't believe in science
not religious, really, but prone to  authoritarianism
they like to follow the leader, so do the Priests
such a pleasant game, on a fine spring day
but bucolic notions of harmony are totally false
this was rape, molestation, and outright sodomy
such beautiful words in conjunction with religion
yet they never reconcile the two, sound familiar
religion denies climate change, like it's pedophile priests
it's willful ignorance and I will play no part
I will separate the Church from State!
I will not soil the Constitution!
I am a Patriot!

water water

water water  everywhere
and boy how it did stink
let's get rid of the EPA
do these idiots even think

hope the tar sand beaches
match your waving grain
the purple mountain majesty
is a figment of your brain

drill baby drill
sounds alright by me
country full of morons
from sea to shining sea

water water everywhere
but it ain't safe to drink
thank god for republicans
who'll save us from the brink

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Republicans do

Did extinct dinosaurs
with their small brains
see the bright light
in the sky
and think hallelujah
we've been saved
Republicans do!

Saturday, November 12, 2016

To all my racist republican friends, yes all republicans, you are now and will be forever racists, get used to your new mantle, you wear it well. As you hide behind god and country, praying for better days, you're going to get them soon! You now own the entire apparatus of the State, you are driving the car, may you shred your precious constitution, you know, that document you've never read, may you trash the economy, you know, like Bush, may we get the wars your pacifist Jesus so adored.

Yes this country will finally see republicans in all their resplendent glory, it will be a hideous disfigured elephant man with lipstick, I can't wait! But, what I will find most amusing, nay what will be hilarious, is when things fail, the car hits an abutment and you will all blame it on Obama!  You never accept failure the whole republican party is as narcisstic as the President elect. So my racist republican friends, how y'all feeling, truly pumped up, ready to turn this secular republic into a theocratic dystopia, you know like Iran, when you criminalize abortion and deny women their basic rights. Ha, and physicists say time travel is not possible, we just went back 50 years!

So to all my misogynistic republican friends, how you gonna play the ball, bank shot against abortion, half court flinger at buzzer time for the Supreme Court, you know, the one that gave us Citizens United, or a sneaky back door steal for all the marbles! I am betting you got the skill set and just the right amount of twisted acumen to get all three! I pity the women in this country and as an atheist I encourage y'all to pray for your daughters they are gonna need it.

This is truly a line in the sand and I am drawing it, evil is afoot, and all like minded people must see our precarious situation. Will we man the barricades filling the breeches for hard won liberties or will we let the forces of evil plunge the US and maybe the World over the abyss. I am waiting my misogynistic/racist republican friends the whole World awaits!

Friday, November 11, 2016

There is no joy in Dougville
the mighty Hillary swung her bat
the clueless, benighted idiots
just voted right on back

A new man to the White House
It's the end of Clinton and Bush
Our new and shiny future
decided by people, whose brains are mush

There is no joy in Whoville
The mean Grinch, holds all the keys
the clueless, benighted bastards
will soon feel his mighty squeeze

All the World's a tremble
with Christmas almost due
The Grinch soon to take the White House
Poor, Poor, Cindy Lou Who

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

I've Stumbled, Bumbled, and Staggered
My eyes Red, Blurry, and Haggard
I've voted HIGH!
I've voted DRUNK!
But, I would NEVER!
Vote, Donald Trump!

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Dump the Trump

is the trumpster scary
let's take a poll
thing he most resembles
most say an A-Hole!

but is that really scary
thing monsters are made
the trumpster's a master
we're all being played

wait, did I hear racist
that dog whistle howls
white supremacist groups
"never heard of em", he scowls

this dude is like Teflon
doesn't matter what he says
any group's worth offending
Women, Indians and Gays

thank god he's non violent
attracts a pacifist crowd
whose brown shirts and white sheets
do their daddy's proud!

so, yeah maybe he's scary
let's take a poll
Who's voting for Donald
now who's the asshole!

Friday, March 18, 2016

Sum Bitches

Raised and succored by the radiant afterglow of the New Deal and the unprecedented use of Keynesian economics the American people attained a standard of living that was, then, unprecedented in human history. This rapid elevation though amazing was never consolidated, which left exposed our rather large and soft underbelly. Never missing an opportunity the minions of mayhem soon  attacked the weak spots and pledged to end this rampant prosperity. The ensuing battles have taken decades, resulting in a slow but unmistakable slide towards perdition. The Arsenal of Greed is unflinching in its desire to destroy the middle class using any and all means possible. The endless repetition and defilement of our political system has left us inured to viscous, dehumanizing acts. In essence we've all been gang banged!!

fartest longer

fartest longer's a simple man, from a simple place
who only enjoys, one simple thing, he likes to stuff his face

a sunny day it happened, cheap endless Chinese buffet
fartest longer wandered in and stayed the whole long day  

massive, mammoth, monstrous, copious amounts of food
that cause interminable eruptions, which are uncommonly rude

it's not melodious, no not at all, it's more a raucous sound
and it's not the odor nor the stench, it's the length that is profound

the egg rolls, the wantons, the funky egg foo young
twenty, thirty minutes pass, his flatulence just begun

he just keeps on munching, the owner's sad, he let him in
fartest longer's an eating machine, with an indefatigable wind

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

con men

what illness this
this wasting disease
slowly digesting
a snake eating it's tail
swallowing us all
in vapid stupidity
embracing failure
promoting illusion
cloaked in fraud
chicanery personified
Conservative Con Men
those paragons of virtue
pillars of the community
outsourcers of jobs
pillagers of the public trust
scions of moral authority
ignorers of truth and reason
Virtuous Con Men
sanctified by religious authority
embraced by the masses
an ignorant flock of sheep
such diligent voters
blind allegiance devotion
suckers pure and simple

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Fartest Prouder

Fartest Prouder smiles as he steps aboard the bus
While deep inside his innards slowly begin to fuss

An unbelievable mixture from many a foreign land
A very bad food pyramid that always works as planned

An indistinct low rumble as the gaseous emulsions coalesce
Their sudden introduction is bound to cause duress

The unsuspecting patrons on the city’s double red blue line
Are about to experience something that will forever scar their mind

Fartest Prouder winces as he bends over double in the middle
Like an ancient octogenarian that’s trying to play the fiddle

A sound of such proportion almost primeval in its scope
Makes all of those that hear it suddenly abandon hope

An amorphous miasma wafts a most sickening smell
Makes a priest in the back think immediately of Hell

And up in the front a girl screams for her mother
As the air is displaced and they all start to smother

The bus driver’s dazed but quickly recovers his senses
But not before crushing three empty wooden park benches

Fartest Prouder grins, a look of pure rapturous joy
and remembers with great fondness, he's mothers favorite boy

Friday, March 4, 2016

There really is a lesser of two evils

it's Bernie Sanders 
not Colonel Sanders
you blathering buffoon
he doesn't cook chickens
he calls them out
plucks their feathers
their lies naked 
to the world
it's beautiful really
a campaign symphony
roiling for change
this symphony 
needs a chorus
if everyone could just
Feel the Bern!!

are you worried
possibly terrified
flutter in your gut
fear in the distance
bearing down
bereft of soul
covered in hair
beseech your heavens
pray to god in vain
decency asunder
normalcy laid to rest
democracy is messy
this is a shit storm
for your consideration
I give You, Donald Trump!