Thursday, December 8, 2016

Tweeter In Chief

with civility and grace
I, accept the election
my mind so confused
by endless misdirection

the art of the deal
a new sun is shining
our republican masters
new horrors refining

a deplorable cabinet
a basket full of fools
a swampy miasma
of Republican tools

get over it they say
give dump a chance
I have, we have
now it's on to the dance

with civility and grace
I, accept the election
my mind in overdrive
for bullshit detection

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

What is in a name

does a name reflect the owner
will you become the name
with donald  trump
it might as well be the same

trumpster
Orange Foolious
Orange shitgibbon
trumpaloompa
Tangerine Mussolini
Hair Furor
Grabbalotapus Rex
Rubespierre
Dick a la Orange
Cantaloupe Caligula
D.T. Barnum
Der Failure
Prima Donald
Orange Baboon
Orange Ferrethead
Don L Ad Hoc Trump
great orange shitbag
Orange NIMBY
Orange Wonder Bread
Douche Bag Donnie
Cheeto Mussolini
Tweetie Turd
Orange Excrescence
Trump Vader
tricky Trump
orange Ponzi
tangerine turd
Pumpkin Spice
Trumplethinskin
The short fingered orange despot
Cheeto Benito
Tangerine Shitgibbon
Fuckface Von Clownstick
Putin’s Bitch
Don the Con
Dickface Destroyer of Democracy
America’s Wealthiest Hemorrhoid (John Oliver)
Il Douche
Id Vicious
Cheeto Jesus
Voldemoron (John Cole)
Orange Julius Caesar (Lewis Black)
Angry Circus Peanut
T.A. (That Asshole in the White House)
The Nazi Cheeto (or Cheeto Nazi)
Trumpanzee
The Vulgar Talking Yam (Charlie Pierce)
El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago (Charlie Pierce)
Der FUBARer
He, Trump
Accident-Elect Smallgloves (or Littlefingers)
The Drumpf
Trumpolini
Trumpty Dumpty
Tangelo Tyrant
Tangerine Nightmare
Poke-a-Trumpus
Ambulatory pilonoidal cyst
Tangerini Mussolini
The Pussygrabbing Potentate
Semi-Sentient traffic cone
Rabid tumbleweed
Daddy Marmalade
Mango Unchained
bewigged hantavirus
Orange Fascist Clown
Orange Buffoon
Texter Tubbie
Donald Dump
marmalade nightmare
Kim Jong-Orange
Donnie Draft Dodger
Orange Turd Blossom
donald  chump
Orange Racist Pussy Grabber

P - Pu$$y grabbing

O - Obnoxious

T - Thin Skinned

U - Unqualified

S - Sociopath





Sunday, November 20, 2016

The Funhose Mirror

If Democracy is a reflection
a mirror image of us all
then Donald Trump, represents
the beginning of the fall

a misogynistic, proto fascist
with undeniable, snake oil charm
an unrepentant known racist
who is soon, to do great harm

there are no conflicts of interest
he is smarter than us all
he now owns the fucking playground
and he is taking home the ball




Thursday, November 17, 2016

Fat Bastard

I was once a fat bastard
but then I found God
with the help of prayer
I have a ripped bod

my stomach's a washboard
my biceps unreal
oh lord sweet Jesus
I have buns of steel!

with muscles a bulging
I flex, my Pecs a lot
midnight prayer sessions
they sure hit the spot

my workouts are a blur
sometimes things get scary
but I really shed pounds
when I do the Virgin Mary

so all you fat Atheists
it's time you got wise
be like the Catholics
go out and Exorcise!

Screaming at the void

No bridge too far
nor chasm deep
we must smite this evil
in it's swampy seep

The bones of others
not long passed
cry for atonement
the shadows they cast

Our mission defined
what pertinent tools
to combat the ignorance
in Republican fools

Here's where I falter
who the fuck, has a plan
we're flailing blindly
I've done all that I can

With all this misfortune
we're a two legged stool
how long can we balance
under Republican rule

When we topple over
all hell breaks loose
you'll hear them coming
they march like a goose!



Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Bishop where are you

this cat this Donald trump
retching, vomiting, contorting
the most foulest of hairballs
the cabinet of the orange foolius
imagine the chunks
as they form, and congeal
some may turn into Sarah Palin
the horror, the absolute horror
an Alien facehugger,
on the whole nation
we are in some real pretty shit
game over, man, game over
I can see, Ashe gurgling, smiling
the Alien, is coming for us all
it didn't burst from our chest
we let him in, through the front door
they mostly come at night, mostly
we thought it was a stand up fight
turns out, it was a Bug Hunt!
Clinton was afraid of bugs
she wouldn't get in the sewer
trump eats bugs, hell all reptiles do
now we got an orange shit stain
on the Constitution
paranoia, wait and see
yep, I'm gonna be as civil
as the right, was to Obama
if we have any chance at all
we will have to fight
like Newt and Ripley
keep these Alien facehuggers
from strangling the whole nation
and we don't have Bishop
crawling to our salvation
they mostly come at night, mostly




Kakistocracy




sung to the tune
from jungle book
"bare necessities"

it's a Kakistocracy
total Kakistocracy
forget about your
silly fucking life
I mean Kakistocracy
could someone just
help us please
get Kakistocracy
from our life

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

extinction level event

This is an extinction level event
the late night talk shows, think it's a game
maybe it is a game,  a game of chicken
who wins a game of chicken
this country just lost  the largest
game of liars poker ever
in two years it's a new game
how about five card stud
but they hold all the cards
there are always random factors
and the occasional joker
I am fifty plus years old
probably outside the range
of feeling the pernicious
effects of global warming
but you twenty year olds
you're going to feel the burn
and that's not Bernie Sanders
the election is a week old
it's primary lesson
was willful ignorance
the same mechanism
behind climate change
you kids, have to save the world
the old fucks don't care about grandchildren
they want lower taxes, no abortions, and guns
neither candidate had one commercial
about the climate at all
look to the sky and ask
are they bullshitting me
well they are
life is a game of bullshit
everything now is a lie
the truth has no validity
Donald Trump told so many lies
Pinocchio's nose fell off
I want you kids to use those damn phones
for something other than
words with friends
ninety eight percent of scientists
agree that sea oh two is gonna
fuck up the world
half the voters think it's a hoax
I say education has failed
I say we have all failed
look we just elected
an unhinged proto-fascist
and if European history
is not your thing
you should consider perusing
German history from the
Treaty of Versailles
to the invasion of Poland
it gets pretty dreary after that
are we gonna slide into tyranny
who can say (Reichstag Fire)
but for me, we're too damn close
you kids have to steer the ship away
there are rocky shoals ahead
and my eyesight is not as good as yours
one of my favorite professors
used to wear a pin that said
I read banned books
was it in jest, or to prove
that he was an eclectic reader
or was he on to something
could he foresee a future where
books would be banned
Damn right he did
and he learned it
from banned books
and who are the types
of people who would ban books
once again I refer you to
European History Germany
early to mid twentieth century
following the debacle of Clinton's loss
a young staffer told Donna Brazille
to fuck off, you are gonna die of old age
while I am gonna die from climate change
now that's a commercial Clinton
should have run
so what you kids gonna do
saddle up, lock and load
and kick some ass
or bury your head in the sand
are we mammals or what





Monday, November 14, 2016

quiet reflections of a turbulent mind

Who are these Christians anyway
why does their snake oil, taste so foul
pray the gay away, pray yourself away
but respect your pedophile priests
cognitive dissonance is your friend
arbiters of love, hope, and charity
Thanks, for the Dark Ages
the everlasting Crusades
and the Spanish Inquisition
bacteria is more important than religion
well some anyway, religion is more a virus
a very virulent form, worldwide dispersion
Ha, these nitwits still send out missionaries
the world is flat, the earlier missionaries fell off
sounds plausible, since we never landed on the moon
thankfully, I was inoculated, Thanks Mom and Dad
some science says, we may be born religious
unfortunately the religious, don't believe in science
not religious, really, but prone to  authoritarianism
they like to follow the leader, so do the Priests
such a pleasant game, on a fine spring day
but bucolic notions of harmony are totally false
this was rape, molestation, and outright sodomy
such beautiful words in conjunction with religion
yet they never reconcile the two, sound familiar
religion denies climate change, like it's pedophile priests
it's willful ignorance and I will play no part
I will separate the Church from State!
I will not soil the Constitution!
I am a Patriot!










water water


water water  everywhere
and boy how it did stink
let's get rid of the EPA
do these idiots even think

hope the tar sand beaches
match your waving grain
the purple mountain majesty
is a figment of your brain

drill baby drill
sounds alright by me
country full of morons
from sea to shining sea

water water everywhere
but it ain't safe to drink
thank god for republicans
who'll save us from the brink