The Party of No

the Conservative right
is consistently wrong
if you think I'm mistaken
you've not heard their song

they lie to the left
they lie to each other
they lie to their kids
and they lie to their mother

in our halls of Congress
they kneel down to pray
what are they beseeching
something glorious no way

let's deny health care
a Christian thing to do
if you find this is shocking
it ain't nothing new

the party of NO
that's what they've become
their brand of idiocy
should make people numb

like metastasizing cancer
they've spread through the land
if only we could excise it
but first we need a Health Plan

Dittoheads

dittoheads are curious things
they excuse the Rush
and the vile he brings

dittoheads are curious people
should they be renamed
I call them sheeple

dittoheads are a curious flock
Rush is their shepherd
their touchstone their rock

dittoheads are a curious group
they continuously listen
to Rush's unending poop

dittoheads are curious to behold
but a least they're amusing
and they never get old

dittoheads are curious to hear
if they lose their Rush
ain't no Happy New Year

This man named Cheney

is he smart
is he brainy
this stupid dick
this man named Cheney

how he blathers
how he spews
how he obfuscates
on the evening news

is that a sneer
is that a smirk
is he for real
this awesome jerk

he seems composed
he seems together
he seems relaxed
regardless the weather

the man has balls
he sure has style
what would you expect
from a damn reptile

and that's the problem
don't you see
he cares not for us
or our posterity

his reptilian brain
just keeps attacking
he has no qualms
a conscience it's lacking

heaven sent

the priests are gonna have fun tonight
they are rounding up some boys
they won't be singing in the choir
but they're gonna make some noise

pedophilia is called a venial sin
but it's just sex without consent
the Catholic Church wants you to think
that it has been Heaven sent

Oh heavenly father with wisdom
and your divine grace
help me hold this altar boy
and keep him in his place

the Vatican is an awesome wonder
festooned with incredible art
the Pope may not be a pedophile
but he's certainly played his part

shuffling all the priests around
was the substance of their game
and now they will forever suffer
the consequences of their shame

the question left to ponder
those thousands in St Peter's square
do they really not know
or do they just don't care

Forrest Gump

stupid is as stupid does
said the wise man Forrest Gump
if this is axiomatic
no wonder we're such a dump

spinning round in circles
a mad dog chasing his tail
if the USA was a person
it would be locked away in jail

criminal deplorable behavior
is the flavor of the day
gonna catch the terrorists
there will be hell to pay

can't you see them shaking
Al Qaida is on the run
is our strategy working
or has it yet begun

nine years of fighting terror
from sunrise to setting sun
aren't the results just awesome
this country's number one

if one was a negative number
we just might attain that score
but the terrorists aren't counting
where's the sanity I implore

a war that will never end
who'd think we see that day
it's all so damn depressing
makes an atheist want to pray

Atheist Bus Slogans

Atheist groups across the land are counter punching and they plan to place ads on buses, billboards, park benches, restaurant placemats etc.. Here are a few of my suggestions!!

"Thank God I am an Atheist"

"Does God Read? He Sure Can't Write!
Read the Bible lately it Sucks"

Which church do you attend? Dumb or Dumber

If God is all powerful why does he need money?

Evolution trumps Creationism at every turn.

Pray for Science, we're gonna need it!!

Faith a real word for an imaginary concept!

Heaven, Hell, Eternity, Bullshit.

The Blind can't See
The Deaf can't Hear
The Religious can't Think

More to come...

the following were not invented by me but they are still good..

After Jesus, everything else is just toothpaste.

God: He keeps going and going and going and going…

Religion: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

Please don’t squeeze the Jeezus.

Salvation: Because you’re worth it.

Religion: The ultimate driving machine. (picture of flagellants whipping themselves)

Church: We make money the old fashioned way. We beg for it.

How do you spell relief? (picture of Jesus on the cross)

Religion: Don’t leave home without it.

We’re number two; we try harder. (picture of Muslim imam)

God: It’s the real thing!Is it live, or is it Jesus?

Snap, Crackle, Pop (picture of hell)

Religion: It’s everywhere you want to be.

Religion: Live in your world, play in ours.

Religion: When it absolutely, positively has to be there forever.

Once you pop you just can’t stop. (picture of Eve handing Adam an apple)

You too can have a body like mine. (picture of Jesus risen)

With a name like Zoroastrianism, it has to be good.

Between love and madness lies religion.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Do it at your local church!

Religion: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.

Religion: So easy a caveman can do it.

Theory my Ass!!

Should Evolution or Creationism or both be taught in school?

This question can be answered this way. A man goes to his doctor with a bad infection the doctor asks do you believe in evolution or creationism. Patient says creationism doctor gives him old antibiotic that is not effective because this bacteria has evolved a resistance to this drug. Patient dies. Pretty soon everyone believes in evolution. Theory my ass.

Where is the change

Does Obama love this country
It hardly even shows
Look at what's transpired
And how it really blows

The banks are given bailouts
While main street's sucking tit
The richest mother fuckers
Demand more and will not quit

The President is always obliging
To the lobbyists and their whores
While the poorest of our people
Crawl around on shit stained floors

It is said we're rushing head long
Towards our stupid reckless doom
And now this President is complicit
It will be emblazoned on his tomb

We thought we elected a leader
And now we've been proved wrong
I guess we will wait forever
Until a real one comes along

What a fool believes

Only fools believe in God
Only God believes in fools

Obomber

it's the night before Christmas
and I am wearing a frown
the country now realizes
we elected a clown

we were duped
now we've been had
Obomber screws us
man its so sad

the graveyard of empires
that's what it's called
Afghanistan sucks
and I am appalled

a few dozen people
living in caves
have sent thousands
to their early graves

along comes Obomber
and exactly on cue
we need more soldiers
this can not be true

the place is a shit hole
from bottom to top
this stupid strategy
will most certainly flop

where is the outrage
oh what a shame
this never ending
most sickening game

America the Beautiful
that's what they say
if this is called pretty
I'll take ugly okay

superman

does Superman fart

it's anyones guess

but if he did

can you imagine the mess

"holy heaving thunder"

Robin says out loud

Superman just farted

and blew away that cloud

such a mighty shock wave

spreads across the land

many things are damaged

all caused by Superman

Gotham city is rattled

and so is Metropolis

Commissioner Gordon mutters

we can't take more of this

faster than a speeding bullet

and just as hard to see

the smell the stench the aroma

cause the blind to see

now we know the answer

why the fortress of solitude

when Superman gets gassy

the results are pretty rude

It doesn't matter what he eats

except for kryptonite

when Superman has to blow

its stronger than dynamite!

Stupid Tools

America is a ship of fools
Perfectly formed stupid tools
We are sheep made to be herded
This disaster can not be averted

Nothing gets better it only get worse
We must suffer from some unholy curse
Our Congress and Pres seem to agree
That we will fight wars indefinitely

The Merchants of Death who rule this land
Have simply taken over they are in command
Conspiracies abound and its totally world wide
Just look how the Nobel peace prize was applied

Lets not forget those Justices on high
Who sit and watch while others die
With bold action and a compassionate plan
The Supreme Court could heal this land

Right from the start their actions are tainted
A conservative brush from which they're painted
High class whores is really all they can be
As we suffer their justice into perpetuity

god bless this poem

Somewhere way out there up in the sky
Lives the entity of creation a most insidious lie
Believe it or not truly these are your choices
And those that believe are the ones who hear voices

From time immemorial to one day in the past
How is it possible for this story to last
It is naked and its brazen in its lies and its shams
How easily it's perverted and often used in scams

And now here we stand after thousands of years
People still believe this shit it helps soothe their fears
And just what exactly do we get in return
A boatload of hypocrisy and watching witches burn

It ostracizes the smart and punishes those who dare
Its circular arguments makes religion beyond compare
But this is exactly the very essence of its fault
It stymies creativity and suppresses radical thought

And lest we forget its other pernicious aspects too
It causes many wars just ask an Arab or a Jew
And woe on to women the glorious mothers of this earth
Who have been wronged by religion since the day of their birth

Genital mutilation proves that religion is not so grand
It shows all to clearly that this shit is out of hand
And now after the glorious 8 incredible years of Bush
We realize that religion also turns your brains to mush

So next time you’re in church kneeling down to pray
Think about it clearly think it through all the way
Just what exactly are you gaining what do you truly get
Or are your brains so petrified you still believe this shit

Most unusual crime

Insurance abhorrence
Parasitic nature of slime
They steal without stealing
A most unusual crime

They take from the masses
Always demanding more
They steal fom the many
Till everyone's poor

They tell you they're needed
Oh, how they plead their case
But the truth of the matter
They are just a disgrace

And yet we are helpless
So enamored by their prose
We are routinely violated
Like ghetto banged hos

The situation seems bleak
Yes most certainly dire
It is time to push back
Put their feet to the fire

But how should we do this
Just what needs to be done
A task this monumental
Our Congress will shun

And therein lies
The crux of this matter
As we all get skinnier
Congress just keeps getting fatter!

Fartest Louder

Fartest Louder grins as he eats some bean chowder
The consequent results will make him much prouder
A gaseous explosion of such unholy renown
A riotous, odoriferous, cacophony of sound

The fabric of space and time rent asunder
A malodorous expulsion of flatulent thunder
The air comes alive bursting with unseen forces
The stench Oh My God comes from numerous sources

The eggs for breakfast along with the ham
And do you detect the gooseberry jam
Lunch was a coney and chili cheese fries
A zesty aroma that will sting your eyes

And just when you think that the worst is over
Fartest Louder lets loose a double bendover
The walls, the paint, even your eardrums do rattle
As your olfactory nerves prepare to do battle

I surrender you scream as you duck for some cover
Fartest Louder just laughs and lets loose another
The air now seems thick, redolent of fermented cheese
So overwhelming the smell you are forced to your knees

Fartest Louder's the champ a stench to behold
Challenge him if you must but prepare to be bold
No one stands up against him they are always out classed
Every single opponent Fartest Louder's out gassed

Take Care of our Vets

I will drink to that!!

http://www.1000bottlesofbeer.com/

greatest pot movie ever

http://www.fancast.com/movies/Totally-Baked%3A-A-Pot-u-mentary/4723/765964521/Totally-Baked/videos

http://gretachristina.typepad.com/greta_christinas_weblog/2007/10/atheists-and-an.html

The Truth about Atheists

http://www.alternet.org/story/126118/?page=entire

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