I hope my bowels don't distend
and that my arches never fail
my cranium remains intact
and my lungs always inhale
I hope my joints don't get stiff
that my knees will never buckle
my septum never deviates
nor arthritis in my knuckle
I hope my prostate doesn't swell
that my colon stays intact
my testicles stay small and round
my bowel movements don't turn black
I hope my bones they never break
my ears keep hearing sound
my cholesterol stays nice and low
so I keep on sticking around
I hope my kidneys never fail
that my liver does stay strong
without either of these things
you may not live that long
If you're lucky with insurance
these things may not be so sad
but if you're poor and uninsured
well that's just too fucking bad
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Scary Shit
If this shit doesn't bother you then nothing will. Frankly one of the scariest things I have read in a while, the actual blueprint for the dumbing down of the American people, perpetrated under the guise of conservative and religious beliefs. Well the American people do deserve a comeuppance and based on this article we are going to get one. The stupidity of the Christian Right, is a never ending source of amusement, but now I can find no humor in this article, or in the actions of this vile group of conspirators. This article shows clearly the necessity, for separation of church and state, these repellent individuals have no right to deny the children of this country from receiving accurate and viable textbooks.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
if Obama's like Bush
then we've all been had
the shits getting worse
so who else is mad
international cops
patrolling our borders
snatching and grabbing
by exectutive orders
what will come next
buy stock in barbed wire
we'll need more prisons
we're not making a choir
we must spend billions
on our own damn police
now we need others
keep feeding the beast
I'm usually not worried
and I am seldom scared
but this gets me thinking
are we so unprepared
then we've all been had
the shits getting worse
so who else is mad
international cops
patrolling our borders
snatching and grabbing
by exectutive orders
what will come next
buy stock in barbed wire
we'll need more prisons
we're not making a choir
we must spend billions
on our own damn police
now we need others
keep feeding the beast
I'm usually not worried
and I am seldom scared
but this gets me thinking
are we so unprepared
Thursday, December 31, 2009
The Party of No
the Conservative right
is consistently wrong
if you think I'm mistaken
you've not heard their song
they lie to the left
they lie to each other
they lie to their kids
and they lie to their mother
in our halls of Congress
they kneel down to pray
what are they beseeching
something glorious no way
let's deny health care
a Christian thing to do
if you find this is shocking
it ain't nothing new
the party of NO
that's what they've become
their brand of idiocy
should make people numb
like metastasizing cancer
they've spread through the land
if only we could excise it
but first we need a Health Plan
is consistently wrong
if you think I'm mistaken
you've not heard their song
they lie to the left
they lie to each other
they lie to their kids
and they lie to their mother
in our halls of Congress
they kneel down to pray
what are they beseeching
something glorious no way
let's deny health care
a Christian thing to do
if you find this is shocking
it ain't nothing new
the party of NO
that's what they've become
their brand of idiocy
should make people numb
like metastasizing cancer
they've spread through the land
if only we could excise it
but first we need a Health Plan
Dittoheads
dittoheads are curious things
they excuse the Rush
and the vile he brings
dittoheads are curious people
should they be renamed
I call them sheeple
dittoheads are a curious flock
Rush is their shepherd
their touchstone their rock
dittoheads are a curious group
they continuously listen
to Rush's unending poop
dittoheads are curious to behold
but a least they're amusing
and they never get old
dittoheads are curious to hear
if they lose their Rush
ain't no Happy New Year
they excuse the Rush
and the vile he brings
dittoheads are curious people
should they be renamed
I call them sheeple
dittoheads are a curious flock
Rush is their shepherd
their touchstone their rock
dittoheads are a curious group
they continuously listen
to Rush's unending poop
dittoheads are curious to behold
but a least they're amusing
and they never get old
dittoheads are curious to hear
if they lose their Rush
ain't no Happy New Year
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
This man named Cheney
is he smart
is he brainy
this stupid dick
this man named Cheney
how he blathers
how he spews
how he obfuscates
on the evening news
is that a sneer
is that a smirk
is he for real
this awesome jerk
he seems composed
he seems together
he seems relaxed
regardless the weather
the man has balls
he sure has style
what would you expect
from a damn reptile
and that's the problem
don't you see
he cares not for us
or our posterity
his reptilian brain
just keeps attacking
he has no qualms
a conscience it's lacking
is he brainy
this stupid dick
this man named Cheney
how he blathers
how he spews
how he obfuscates
on the evening news
is that a sneer
is that a smirk
is he for real
this awesome jerk
he seems composed
he seems together
he seems relaxed
regardless the weather
the man has balls
he sure has style
what would you expect
from a damn reptile
and that's the problem
don't you see
he cares not for us
or our posterity
his reptilian brain
just keeps attacking
he has no qualms
a conscience it's lacking
Monday, December 28, 2009
heaven sent
the priests are gonna have fun tonight
they are rounding up some boys
they won't be singing in the choir
but they're gonna make some noise
pedophilia is called a venial sin
but it's just sex without consent
the Catholic Church wants you to think
that it has been Heaven sent
Oh heavenly father with wisdom
and your divine grace
help me hold this altar boy
and keep him in his place
the Vatican is an awesome wonder
festooned with incredible art
the Pope may not be a pedophile
but he's certainly played his part
shuffling all the priests around
was the substance of their game
and now they will forever suffer
the consequences of their shame
the question left to ponder
those thousands in St Peter's square
do they really not know
or do they just don't care
they are rounding up some boys
they won't be singing in the choir
but they're gonna make some noise
pedophilia is called a venial sin
but it's just sex without consent
the Catholic Church wants you to think
that it has been Heaven sent
Oh heavenly father with wisdom
and your divine grace
help me hold this altar boy
and keep him in his place
the Vatican is an awesome wonder
festooned with incredible art
the Pope may not be a pedophile
but he's certainly played his part
shuffling all the priests around
was the substance of their game
and now they will forever suffer
the consequences of their shame
the question left to ponder
those thousands in St Peter's square
do they really not know
or do they just don't care
Forrest Gump
stupid is as stupid does
said the wise man Forrest Gump
if this is axiomatic
no wonder we're such a dump
spinning round in circles
a mad dog chasing his tail
if the USA was a person
it would be locked away in jail
criminal deplorable behavior
is the flavor of the day
gonna catch the terrorists
there will be hell to pay
can't you see them shaking
Al Qaida is on the run
is our strategy working
or has it yet begun
nine years of fighting terror
from sunrise to setting sun
aren't the results just awesome
this country's number one
if one was a negative number
we just might attain that score
but the terrorists aren't counting
where's the sanity I implore
a war that will never end
who'd think we see that day
it's all so damn depressing
makes an atheist want to pray
said the wise man Forrest Gump
if this is axiomatic
no wonder we're such a dump
spinning round in circles
a mad dog chasing his tail
if the USA was a person
it would be locked away in jail
criminal deplorable behavior
is the flavor of the day
gonna catch the terrorists
there will be hell to pay
can't you see them shaking
Al Qaida is on the run
is our strategy working
or has it yet begun
nine years of fighting terror
from sunrise to setting sun
aren't the results just awesome
this country's number one
if one was a negative number
we just might attain that score
but the terrorists aren't counting
where's the sanity I implore
a war that will never end
who'd think we see that day
it's all so damn depressing
makes an atheist want to pray
Atheist Bus Slogans
Atheist groups across the land are counter punching and they plan to place ads on buses, billboards, park benches, restaurant placemats etc.. Here are a few of my suggestions!!
"Thank God I am an Atheist"
"Does God Read? He Sure Can't Write!
Read the Bible lately it Sucks"
Which church do you attend? Dumb or Dumber
If God is all powerful why does he need money?
Evolution trumps Creationism at every turn.
Pray for Science, we're gonna need it!!
Faith a real word for an imaginary concept!
Heaven, Hell, Eternity, Bullshit.
The Blind can't See
The Deaf can't Hear
The Religious can't Think
More to come...
the following were not invented by me but they are still good..
After Jesus, everything else is just toothpaste.
God: He keeps going and going and going and going…
Religion: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
Please don’t squeeze the Jeezus.
Salvation: Because you’re worth it.
Religion: The ultimate driving machine. (picture of flagellants whipping themselves)
Church: We make money the old fashioned way. We beg for it.
How do you spell relief? (picture of Jesus on the cross)
Religion: Don’t leave home without it.
We’re number two; we try harder. (picture of Muslim imam)
God: It’s the real thing!Is it live, or is it Jesus?
Snap, Crackle, Pop (picture of hell)
Religion: It’s everywhere you want to be.
Religion: Live in your world, play in ours.
Religion: When it absolutely, positively has to be there forever.
Once you pop you just can’t stop. (picture of Eve handing Adam an apple)
You too can have a body like mine. (picture of Jesus risen)
With a name like Zoroastrianism, it has to be good.
Between love and madness lies religion.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Do it at your local church!
Religion: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
Religion: So easy a caveman can do it.
"Thank God I am an Atheist"
"Does God Read? He Sure Can't Write!
Read the Bible lately it Sucks"
Which church do you attend? Dumb or Dumber
If God is all powerful why does he need money?
Evolution trumps Creationism at every turn.
Pray for Science, we're gonna need it!!
Faith a real word for an imaginary concept!
Heaven, Hell, Eternity, Bullshit.
The Blind can't See
The Deaf can't Hear
The Religious can't Think
More to come...
the following were not invented by me but they are still good..
After Jesus, everything else is just toothpaste.
God: He keeps going and going and going and going…
Religion: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.
Please don’t squeeze the Jeezus.
Salvation: Because you’re worth it.
Religion: The ultimate driving machine. (picture of flagellants whipping themselves)
Church: We make money the old fashioned way. We beg for it.
How do you spell relief? (picture of Jesus on the cross)
Religion: Don’t leave home without it.
We’re number two; we try harder. (picture of Muslim imam)
God: It’s the real thing!Is it live, or is it Jesus?
Snap, Crackle, Pop (picture of hell)
Religion: It’s everywhere you want to be.
Religion: Live in your world, play in ours.
Religion: When it absolutely, positively has to be there forever.
Once you pop you just can’t stop. (picture of Eve handing Adam an apple)
You too can have a body like mine. (picture of Jesus risen)
With a name like Zoroastrianism, it has to be good.
Between love and madness lies religion.
A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Do it at your local church!
Religion: Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
Religion: So easy a caveman can do it.
Theory my Ass!!
Should Evolution or Creationism or both be taught in school?
This question can be answered this way. A man goes to his doctor with a bad infection the doctor asks do you believe in evolution or creationism. Patient says creationism doctor gives him old antibiotic that is not effective because this bacteria has evolved a resistance to this drug. Patient dies. Pretty soon everyone believes in evolution. Theory my ass.
This question can be answered this way. A man goes to his doctor with a bad infection the doctor asks do you believe in evolution or creationism. Patient says creationism doctor gives him old antibiotic that is not effective because this bacteria has evolved a resistance to this drug. Patient dies. Pretty soon everyone believes in evolution. Theory my ass.
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