Most unusual crime

Insurance abhorrence
Parasitic nature of slime
They steal without stealing
A most unusual crime

They take from the masses
Always demanding more
They steal fom the many
Till everyone's poor

They tell you they're needed
Oh, how they plead their case
But the truth of the matter
They are just a disgrace

And yet we are helpless
So enamored by their prose
We are routinely violated
Like ghetto banged hos

The situation seems bleak
Yes most certainly dire
It is time to push back
Put their feet to the fire

But how should we do this
Just what needs to be done
A task this monumental
Our Congress will shun

And therein lies
The crux of this matter
As we all get skinnier
Congress just keeps getting fatter!

Fartest Louder

Fartest Louder grins as he eats some bean chowder
The consequent results will make him much prouder
A gaseous explosion of such unholy renown
A riotous, odoriferous, cacophony of sound

The fabric of space and time rent asunder
A malodorous expulsion of flatulent thunder
The air comes alive bursting with unseen forces
The stench Oh My God comes from numerous sources

The eggs for breakfast along with the ham
And do you detect the gooseberry jam
Lunch was a coney and chili cheese fries
A zesty aroma that will sting your eyes

And just when you think that the worst is over
Fartest Louder lets loose a double bendover
The walls, the paint, even your eardrums do rattle
As your olfactory nerves prepare to do battle

I surrender you scream as you duck for some cover
Fartest Louder just laughs and lets loose another
The air now seems thick, redolent of fermented cheese
So overwhelming the smell you are forced to your knees

Fartest Louder's the champ a stench to behold
Challenge him if you must but prepare to be bold
No one stands up against him they are always out classed
Every single opponent Fartest Louder's out gassed

Take Care of our Vets